Because Life Isn't Complicated Enough

    It's been some time, but I finally sat down for an update so that the two people that read this have something to read at midnight when they can't sleep (yes, Hannah, I did it for you lol). I'll skip right to the good news....I'm down 5 pounds since I started school!! And it's only going to get better because I am getting more and more disciplined. Because my life wasn't complicated enough I decided to add a "recovery class" to my schedule. This one is for weight loss but more specifically for changing my perspective of food and analyzing my thoughts about it. I am super excited for it. Today is Day #2 of 84 days that the program will last. Its 12 weeks and I have a group that I have shared my goals with and will be accountable to. I have been counting calories because my doctor said that it would be the safest method for me. So far, so good. And I had made a goal for one of my school courses to run twice a week and go to the gym twice a week. For the most part I have done that except for a few weeks where I had a doctors appointment or crucially needed to study for a test. This past week I flaked, but I don't regret it because I desperately needed the sleep. Makayla is not helping my efforts by getting up multiple times in the night and wanting to sleep in my twin bed with me.
       Speaking of Makayla, God is making me a stronger person "thanks" to her. Disciplining her has been one of the hardest challenges thus far. She is something else. We fight during the day and fight all night. Some nights I just can't take it and all I have strength to do is cry and pray. But when the morning comes so does clarity and I move on because guess what? We have to do it all over again. But when Makayla is good she's great. Nothing has ever made me so happy as she does. I'm so excited for her journey of life because I know that it will never be dull, and I feel God  has called her to amazing things.
       I can't wait until Christmas to see all I have accomplished with school and my health. Hopefully it will be a great time of celebration.

The Bright Side

      Well....week one of school and day care is over. Thank goodness because it's a lot to juggle. I had a hard enough time getting myself ready in the morning and out the door in time. Now I have to worry about Makayla who has always had her own agenda. So to save time I decided to make our lunches the night before. It worked out great with the added bonus that I ate healthier because I wasn't grabbing something quick in the morning. It wasn't easy though. You might think, it takes 5 minutes to put together a lunch; why are you complaining? Let me  put it this way. I wake up at 5:45 because Makayla has decided she likes that time of the morning apparently. The night was not restful due to some kid crying all the time :] and so I hate to say it, but I wake up with the grumps. Then I get us all together and we're out the door by 7:30 (if we're on time). Then its off to exercise and school or work for me. I finish my day at 4:30 and come home to Makayla, my ball of energy. We have dinner and attempt a peaceful night, counting down the minutes until bedtime. After much fussing (from Makayla) I finally surrender and put her to bed. Then, after that whole day and all I want to do is sleep....I make lunches. That's the last thing I want to do. But guess what? It's been working. Between that and exercising I've lost 2 lbs this week! That's a healthy rate so I'm happy with it.
    So my second key to success has been exercise, and I added a new part to my exercise routine: Zumba. I didn't want to give in to the fad, but I've always succeeded doing aerobics. Since Zumba seems to be the aerobics of the 21st century then I decided to give it a shot. And I really like it. I do strength training before and I definitely feel like I've gotten a workout by then end of 2 hours. This has only been one week so I'm just trying to stay motivated and keep it up!
   Lastly, I'm taking a psychology course on motivation and we have to make a personal goal that we want to accomplish by the end of the semester. I decided that I want to be able to run around the Rose Bowl without stopping (3 miles). I am hoping that in working towards that goal I can get some other perks as well, such as dropping a few more pounds. My kinesiology class is also all about exercise, sport, and dance and we are doing all those things. Phew!! This will be an active semester, and I'm excited. I definitely feel like God has placed me in all my classes this semester for a reason. I'm just praying that each day He wakes me up with the strength to do it. I know He will, because He wouldn't give me more than I can handle. I'm just glad He believes in me more than I do sometimes. Until next time, thanks for everyone's support. Sorry this was long. I'm a chatterbox.

Planning Ahead to Succeed

In anticipation for the start of school and continuing to work I have started to plan my meals ahead of time. Hopefully if I start it now then it will be a habit by then that I can continue. It won't be easy to get myself ready for the day as well as Makayla ready for daycare all in one morning so I've started planning meals the day before to get a head start. So far (2 days down haha) it's been working out. It has also been helping me stick with my diet because I know exactly what I'm going to eat. Frequently, I will be hungry NOW and not want to prepare anything so I opt for something that is easy but not necessarily healthy. Now I can still eat NOW and eat something that I won't feel guilty about later. I'm not perfect but for the majority of the time I've been proud that I'm sticking with healthy choices for the past 2 weeks now.
Also, I went and played ultimate frisbee. Boy did I suck. But I would have just stayed home watching TV so at least I got my lazy butt up and did something. But the true accomplishment of yesterday was something emotional. I have always been an emotional eater - who hasn't? Yesterday wasn't a great day, but I was proud that I didn't resort to filling up on junk to make me feel better (which really just adds guilt instead of contentment). The problems of yesterday resulted in being other people's attitudes and for once weren't piled on with my own guilt and bad choices. That made me feel so much better.
So one to today, a new day. My meals are all planned accordingly and going to gym is on the schedule. I haven't stepped on the scale in a week and I still don't plan to for a couple days. I'm feeling good so I don't want to spoil it if I'm not getting the immediate results I want.
What's that saying? If you don't plan to succeed you are planning to fail? Anywho, I want to succeed so plan away!!!!

Can't Do It Alone

I would say that this past year has been a whirlwind, which is true, but in reality life has always been a whirlwind. I've conquered depression, somewhat single motherhood, and now I plan to fight weight loss. It seems a little trivial to blog about such a thing, but I'm coming to realize that I can't do this alone. I know that because I've tried and it's now time for a little accountability. 
They say that it takes 9 months to put on baby weight so you should allow yourself 9 months to take it off. Well, Makayla turned 1 this weekend and I weigh no less than I did two weeks after she was born. But really, I was a little overweight right before I got pregnant. Through some research I realized that the culprit has really been some medication I was taking for the past two and a half years. So I ditched the meds and found a diet that deals specifically with taking off weight that is gained because of this medication. I have always been against diets because I felt like I didn't have the will power to follow through with them. So I made a few tweeks and pumped up my exercise. Nothing. So I tried other exercises. Nothing. I tried running more. Nothing....on and on....So a diet (with exercise) it is. And I'm ready. And this time I don't think about relying on my own will power. I've recruited the strongest power I know: The Holy Spirit. And now I've enlisted all of you to help me stay on track. I decided to use my self-consciousness as a benefit and put my journey out there.
So let's get to the nitty-gritty: my goals. I am currently a size 13 in jeans (yes, it's true) and a large for tops. I want to get down to a size 9 which a size bigger than I used to be, but my body composition has changed so much and no matter how much I lose I know that I won't have my old butt and hips back :) It is also my goal to get back to a small in tops and a small/medium in dresses. But most importantly I would love to take pictures with Makayla. I hate looking at myself in pictures now and that is no way to enjoy my life with her. There are so many good times I would love to look back on without cringing. 
So stay tuned for more updates. Hopefully they will be positive ones for the most part.